we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Blood and glitter go together right?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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