I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
