were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i was born a porn star she said
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
