It's like God shit irony all over that family
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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