break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
