Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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