Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My liver just had a heart attack.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
