SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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