i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
