I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
