i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
