There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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