I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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