Dual....:-)
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
