Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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