I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
