I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
