Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
