I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's rum buckets o'clock
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
