Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
