I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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