can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
