Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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