I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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