Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
