You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
