i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I love having hate sex.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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