I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
