my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
