I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
