what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
