i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize