I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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