I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
