I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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