im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
