Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i out mim tonsoeep
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