We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
