quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Randomize
