dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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