I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
