i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
