We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
