You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
