I'm drive I can fine osifer
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
