in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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