Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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