He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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