there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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