It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
