what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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