Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
