dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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