Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
