i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
