Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
