OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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