no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
