i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
