You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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