Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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